Voldemort and the Skipping Stone
by winniereed
Summary: Inspired by a recent Cinemasins video. Ever wonder what Voldemort did while waiting for Harry to show up? Death Eater Avery teaches the Dark Lord about skipping stones while they wait. Rated T for a certain joke. I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER! Please enjoy!


**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter whatsoever. Enjoy!**

Voldemort and the Skipping Stone

Eyes closed so not to be distracted by his followers, Voldemort thought about his infuriating new wand. Well, not infuriating just…yes alright, infuriating. He just did. Not. _Understand._ Why? Why would this _stupid_ thing not work?

Voldemort here paused to examine the Elder wand closer while he quietly seethed. It was not fair. _Why_ did he have such a hard time killing the boy? Anybody else, boom. But the boy? No, the universe just wanted to remind him that they will always be crueler.

He started to pace. It was alright now. He had the Elder wand; he had killed Snape so the wand should work properly now.

Frowning, Voldemort glanced at the sky. Wonder what the time was. He didn't own a watch because he wouldn't be caught de—,( well, not dead _again)_ with one of them because they were made by Muggles. Although, it was one of the few things that Voldemort grudgingly wanted to own.

Wait, Wizards also wear watches. It's supposed to be a tradition that a Wizard should get one when he becomes of age. He never got one before because he was an orphan.

Glancing around, he noticed Avery standing nearby. "Avery," he called out softly.

Avery came forward. "Yes, my Lord?"

"Do you own a watch?"

Avery seemed a bit surprised and bewildered. "M-my Lord?"

"Do you own a watch?"

Blinking, Avery nodded. "Yes, my Lord?"

Voldemort eyed his robed arms. "Let me see it."

Nervous as to what was going on, Avery pulled back his sleeve on his left arm to expose his watch. It was worn, one of the hands were dented but otherwise in perfect working order. Voldemort quietly stared at it for a long time. Finally, Avery hesitantly broke the silence. "Do you…like it, my Lord?"

"I want it," Voldemort announced.

It took a moment for Avery to respond. "What?" he spluttered, completely forgetting to add 'My Lord' to his question he was so surprised.

Ignoring it, Voldemort held out his hand. "I request your watch for keeps."

Shrugging, Avery took off his watch and handed it to Voldemort who smiled inwardly at his prize. Avery watched Voldemort put on his watch before hesitantly asking, "Is there anything else you ask of me, my Lord?"

"What were you doing a moment ago before I called you over?" Voldemort asked suddenly.

Avery blanched at the question before repeating, "What was I doing?"

"Yes, yes," Voldemort said impatiently. "What were you doing?"

"…S-skipping stones, my Lord," Avery muttered.

"What is a skipping stone?" Voldemort asked.

"It's—uh, where you throw a stone at the water in order for it to skip across," Avery tried to explain.

"Demonstrate," Voldemort demanded.

Avery picked up a stone and quickly flicked his wrist to allow the stone to skip across the water. When Voldemort didn't say anything, Avery added, "it's how I pass the time when I have to wait for something."

"Did you use magic to make that stone 'skip'?"

"No, my Lord. Just me," Avery said. He looked at Voldemort curiously and asked, "Would you like to skip a stone, my Lord?"

There was a long pause before Voldemort nodded stiffly.

Avery bent down and picked up a handful of stones for Voldemort to choose from. Immediately, Voldemort picked out the biggest stone. Avery cleared his throat and Voldemort turned to stare at him. Avery looked away quickly.

"Now just throw it gently and—ok, "Avery started to say but broke off as Voldemort hurled the stone as hard as he could at the water. It created a huge splash but did not skip.

Cautiously, Avery handed Voldemort another stone. "You threw it directly at the water but what you are trying to achieve it to flick the stone so that it skims the surface. Try to skim the surface rather than be too…forceful."

Voldemort didn't say anything and then he threw the stone again as Avery suggested. To his surprise the stone didn't create a huge splash as before but gave a little hop before sinking into the river.

"Did you see that?" he asked Avery, his voice excited. "I made a common stone move unnaturally across water without magic!"

There was a short pause before Avery said, "Yes, you skipped a stone."

"Give me another rock," Voldemort commanded, holding out his hand.

"Certainly, my Lord," Avery said and produced another one for him.

Carefully, Voldemort flicked his wrist so that this time, the stone skipped three times before sinking.

Avery tried not to smile as Voldemort pointed at the river and informed it that he had conquered nature. But Voldemort noticed and frowned.

"Do I amuse you, Avery?" he asked.

"Oh no, my Lord," Avery said quickly. "Merely recalling a joke I heard earlier."

"Please tell me then so that I might laugh as well," Voldemort instructed. "Waiting for that Potter boy to show up here tonight is so boring."

Luckily for Avery, he did know one joke. "Uh, well. What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?"

"One is an inanimate object and the other isn't?"

"Erm, no," Avery said. "The answer is: you can unscrew a light bulb."

Voldemort just looked at Avery. Avery hastily explained.

"It's in the usage of the words. 'Screw' can also mean—."

"I know what it means, Avery," Voldemort interrupted. "It's a fancy word for 'getting it on', as they say."

Avery didn't know whether it was safe to laugh or not so he simply nodded.

Voldemort picked up another stone and rolled it around in his hand thoughtfully. Hesitantly, Avery cleared his throat. Voldemort glanced at him and Avery shriveled like a dried-up fruit.

"My Lord, if I may, I was wondering if you were not in need of my assistance that it would be alright if I could return to my previous duties. With your permission, of course," Avery added hastily.

Voldemort gave him a curt nod and Avery bowed very low.

"Thank you, Master,"

"You have been a good servant, Avery. You shall be rewarded."

Secretly, Avery just wanted his watch back but he nodded all the same. Voldemort waved a hand.

"You're dismissed."

"Thank you, Master."


End file.
